PHOTOGRAPHY JOURNAL

Michelle. October 18, 2020.

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Jenny and Mitch. August 16, 2020.

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Mom. May 3, 2020.

It has been a little over a month since lockdown. My mom noticed these really pretty pink trees in our neighborhood and wanted to do another photoshoot. This photoshoot was particularly hard for me. I’m honestly not sure why — maybe I’m still coping with quarantine life, but I was being super critical with all the photos I took. It was either too sunny; I wasn’t getting the exposure right; the colors didn’t turn out right in my viewfinder; something was missing — I felt like I wasn’t good at directing my mom. I don’t know. It was just hard. I was hard on myself.

It took me almost a week to finally look at the photos on my laptop and edit them. Looking at them now, I had no idea what I was thinking or why I was freaking out. The blue dress looked beautiful with the pink trees, the green land and everything in between. My mom’s smile was STUNNING. She’s a natural beauty and such a strong independent woman. Coming into the United States with no money and no understanding of English is super difficult and terrifying. I can’t imagine what she had to go through. But look at her now — the chef of our family restaurant and an amazing mom who takes care both her daughter and mother. She has done so much for me and my grandmother. I respect and love her so much.

Although I was frustrated (not visibly I hope) during the shoot, I’m glad I did it. Even though this is a hard and uncertain time, I was reminded that I shouldn’t doubt my skills and should know my worth — that I will come out of the darkness and reach the light (hence the last photo).

Mom. April 12th, 2020.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m from Pennsylvania. This spring, I decided to study my last semester in Los Angeles but was sent back home due to COVID-19.

Mom, I know I haven’t been in the best of moods lately, but I appreciate you so much. Thank you for allowing me to process quarantine life on my own, for comforting me through the breakdowns and for supporting my decision to move back to Los Angeles in May. I know this has been a crazy, scary time and you don’t want to see me leave, especially during this pandemic — and not to mention, I’m literally moving across the United States. I know you’re worried. That’s what mothers do. But thank you for letting me grow into my own person.

I definitely had a hard time transitioning. It took me a couple weeks to open up to you and once it did, I felt this heavy weight lifted off my shoulders. You found me crying in my room one night, and you said (in Vietnamese), “you have a pretty face. Why are you crying?” Since then, you’ve tried your best to make quarantine fun for all of us. I know I can be grumpy sometimes, but I can’t help it — sorry haha, but know that I love you. I see you and I’m so grateful to have such a strong, brave mother. You’ve done so much for me, and I know it wasn’t easy taking care of me and Ba Ngoai yourself. I have so much respect for you. What you do is honestly amazing.

This past month, I think we’ve gotten closer more than ever. We talked about things we usually don’t ever talk about - life, personal values, politics (oh god), and more. We got a few photoshoots done. I love how excited you get over nature and all the flowers in our neighborhood. It reminds me to appreciate the little things in life.

You’ve been teaching me one or two of your recipes every week. So far, I’ve learned how to make your famous spring roll peanut sauce, chicken fried rice, fried tofu, chicken teriyaki, pound cake and salad dressing. Wow I love your cooking. Vietnamese food is great guys. Try it. We’ve also been learning new recipes together, which is super exciting. I definitely have a sweet tooth, so I’ve been looking up a bunch of desserts and pastries we could make. So far we’ve made dalgona coffee, pancakes (only made with bananas, eggs and oats), chocolate covered strawberries and frozen yogurt fruit bites. But I’ve also scored a great chicken and veggie stir fry noodles recipe. I will definitely make these when I move to Los Angeles.

I’m going to miss you when I leave. Thank you for everything.

Jenny.

One of my dearest friends. Truly a joy to be around. During my sophomore year, you invited me out to do a photoshoot. You taught me how to use my camera and gave me photographer/model tips. I don’t think we were that close at the time, but I was just grateful that you made time to shoot with me.

By my senior year, you asked me to do a birthday shoot for you and your mother. We drove to Longwood Gardens for this shoot. Till this day, this has been one of my favorite shoots. It was my first mother-daughter shoot, and it meant a lot to me that you trusted me with these photos.

I absolutely love your positive energy. I thrive on that supportive, community feeling, and you definitely give me that. You have an incredible work ethic, and you’re so talented. I am constantly amazed by what you can do, and I look up to you so much. You’ve accomplished so much these past couple years, and I’m so happy for you — also pretty dang cool to see how much you’ve grown as an individual and a filmmaker since graduation. You are so inspirational, and as a fellow photographer, I love how you connect with people. Continue doing what you do.

And now we’re going to be roommates in LA, yay! I can’t wait to come back. I think we’ve only had one serious long convo, and that was during our FaceTime call; we were talking about roommate stuff. From that call alone, I can tell how passionate you are with your craft. You’re just so down to earth. Thank you for being so supportive during my time there, and I’m super excited to have you as my roommate.

—

Jenny is an Assistant Director who has worked on short films, feature films and music videos. She’s now mostly focusing on photography. Click here for her website.

Percelle.

I took these photos back in May 2019. Your grandparents and I drove up to West Point for your graduation ceremony. I remember being super nervous because I was going to meet your mother and father for the first time. But me being me, I was playing it cool, you know?

I’ve told you this before, but I’m so proud of you. At this point, we were only been dating for about six months. We visited each other every couple months, and although we were doing the (not so) long distance, I loved every moment with you. You make me want to become a better person. I love the little things you do, like going to the store and randomly buying something your grandparents or mother would like. I love how honest, caring and supportive you are. You offer different perspectives, and you really call me out on things — I like that haha. I feel super lucky to have met you.

When your mom asked me to take photos on her camera, I honestly thought I was going to mess up. The pinning ceremony was such an important moment, and I had one shot to take these photos. It’s not like I could ask everyone to go back to one and redo the whole thing again because I didn’t get the right angle. But how awesome would that be (for me)?

I wasn’t prepared. I wasn’t really sure how to use your mother’s camera and had like 20 seconds to figure it out, and you know me, I like to stress myself out. All jokes aside, I felt very honored to have taken these photos of you and your friends. You’ve worked really hard (obviously), and I was just happy to share this moment with you and your family. I can’t help but smile every time I look at these photos. Plus, I love your smile and how happy you look.

Just know that I will be taking more photos of you whenever you come back home.

Lillian.

My beautiful sister (from another mother). I feel like we’ve just met yesterday.

I’m so glad we met during our freshman year. You literally made my year, and I’m so happy you lived next door. We always hung out, ate together, watched weird videos, ranted, played video games — we did everything together. I remember us helping each other out on our art or film-related projects. We were always hyping each other up. I feel like I can come to you for anything, and I’m so lucky to have a friend like you. I love how we can be ourselves around each other and no matter how long we haven’t spoken to each other, it seems like time hasn’t passed whenever we reconnect. It’s crazy to think we met and hung out in the laundry room because our building’s fire alarm wouldn’t turn off. Special thanks to Temple University’s J&H.

You are so beautiful inside and out — another strong young woman I look up to. You’re honestly one of the most talented human beings on this earth, and I mean that haha. It’s absolutely crazy what you can do as an artist, and I get so speechless every time I see your work. You’ve definitely inspired me to continue as a creative.

Thank you for supporting me and being my #1 fan. I’m so excited to see what the future holds for you.

—

Lillian is an Art Therapy Grad Student and Digital Artist. Click here for her Instagram.

Sydney.

Such a strong, independent young woman. I love how unapologetic, supportive and open you are. I love your passion for writing, body positivity, and POC/female empowerment. I feel incredibly lucky to have met you. We’ve both been through a lot, and I’m so grateful for your friendship.

These photos were taken on December 14th, 2019. It was a few weeks before I started my LA Study Away Program — my last semester of college. To celebrate, we decided to have our own mini photoshoot at city hall. And then right after, WE GOT SOME RAMENNNNN!!!! What a great meal for a cold day.

I could tell that we were both tired and we had to end the day early, but it was worth the hour drive to come and see you before I head to Los Angeles.

I’m super excited to see what the future holds for you. Really, you are so talented and hard working. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend, a partner and an employee. Side note, I recently found out that your birthday was two days before mine. Amazing.

Thank you for all the laughs and support.

—

Sydney is a sex educator and writer who has experience in PR work. Click here for her Instagram.

Alex Part 2.

I don’t remember what year this was, but it finally snowed! We decided to head over to this hidden spot we found on campus to take photos. It was FREEZING that day. We spent about two to three hours outside. You didn’t seem too bothered by the cold (thank god), but I was over here shaking and shivering. I could barely feel my fingers afterwards because I decided to do the smart thing and not wear gloves in 20-30 degree weather. But it was all worth it. As always, it was fun shooting with you.

This was my first and only seasonal shoot, and I’m super happy with how they came out. I definitely want to do more winter shoots.

And yessss, of course I had to take the generic “throwing the snow up in the air” photos!!! C’mon… It’s SNOW!!!

Bryant.

This is a compilation of different sessions, but I’ll specifically talk about the second photo.

I remember you coming up to me and showing me a photo of a girl posing on a rooftop. She had the whole city behind her. We loved how the background looked, so using that one image, we decided to hunt this rooftop down. We closely analyzed the photo and the buildings surrounding her. First, we identified which buildings she was near. Then we tried to see if it’d be possible to get into any of these tall buildings. No luck so far. Hours later, we realized she was on top of a parking garage. Figures! It took us a while, but we finally found it. I felt like a detective haha — it was awesome.

Every time we had a photoshoot, you always had ideas, and it was great. It made my job easy. You were always very optimistic and happy with the photos I took. You gave me feedback, and you were also willing to listen to why something would or would not work; it was always very collaborative.

It was definitely a challenge to work with someone who had a specific vision, but it taught me how to work and communicate with my future clients. Thanks to you, I got to travel around Philly, explore new rooftops and restaurants.

James and Kai.

I always find myself nervous before a photoshoot, but this time, I wasn’t nervous at all. My dearest friends, James and Kai… I have so much love for the both of you. I remember all of our deep conversations about our values, our aspirations, our fears — we weren’t afraid to be ourselves around each other. I was always smiling or laughing around you two.

I was so happy when you both said you’d be my models. After you two said “yes,” I realized how much I loved taking photos of people I care about. I don’t know how to explain it. It was just much more meaningful to me. No matter how far apart we are now, these photos will always have a special place in my heart.

You two were naturals at posing. I didn’t have to direct you at all. This is definitely still one of my favorite photoshoots.

I also took these photos for my photography class. The assignment was to focus on portraits and portray that “album cover” look. My professor wanted us to have a variety of one person looking away from the camera and both people looking straight into the camera. I’m super glad this was an assignment. I didn’t realize how powerful eye contact can be. I would love to do this again in the future.

During this photoshoot, I really wanted to utilize my environment and natural lighting for texture and character personality. We went to a playground off campus for this shoot.

Let’s be honest. Life can get crazy, and we all know how much it loves throwing us curveballs. In these photos, the fences symbolize our naiveness of the world and our desired career paths. As college students, we’re still “trapped” in our own little worlds. Some are actively looking for their community. Others are still trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives. Creeping through the fences shows that we’ve taken a peek into our new realities. As young adults, we’re seeking more opportunities and are looking for ways to improve ourselves as individuals. Obviously the journey isn’t easy. There will be doubts, insecurities, ups and downs.

Eventually we become more well-aware of our surroundings, and we’re getting comfortable in our own skin. We’re not afraid to admit who we are. We know who and where we want to be. We’re unapologetic. We’re sure of ourselves. We think we’re going to be ok in this crazy, scary world.

The yellow and green represents hope, growth and harmony, while the blues resembles wisdom and confidence. The red demonstrates strength, passion, and desire.

—

James is a Director and Visual Artist. Click here for his Instagram.

Kai is a Photographer and Makeup Artist. Click here for her Instagram.

Paul.

I think we randomly met through Facebook — or a friend. We decided to meet for lunch one day and to do a photoshoot together. You had just joined the film program, and you wanted to get to know the other film students. You were super energetic, positive and supportive. You were a guy with huge dreams — you still are.

I remember feeling super nervous about our photoshoot. At this time, I felt like I’ve already established myself as a photographer, but I was definitely not confident in directing male models. I also wasn’t sure if you’d like my photography style. As we started our photoshoot, I got less nervous. Your enthusiasm was really contagious. We got right into it. We went to the closest parking garage on campus to do our photoshoot.

Paul, you are one crazy dude! To this day, I still can’t believe you were walking on the edge of the parking garage. You were also jumping off from it, hanging off from it — that was so dangerous! I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack. But you taught me to take some risks with my photography (but of course, probably a good idea to do it safely next time). You taught me to get out of my comfort zone and to not be afraid of the unknown — to “go with the flow” and to let our adventures find us.

—

Paul is a filmmaker who produces his own digital content on YouTube, Instagram and Tik Tok. He also has his own clothing line. Click here for his Instagram.

Liz.

In Spring 2018, I took a photography class. At this time, we were assigned to practice taking action shots — to really learn how to utilize our ISO and apertures. For this assignment, I knew I didn’t want to take generic photos of someone walking or cars passing by.

One day, I was cleaning my room and came across these colorful scarves I never used. I’m a huge sucker for photoshoots with curtains, drapes or anything in between. I thought these scarves could be a nice alternative.

It was raining the day I shot these photos. I thought with the light rain, it would add a little texture to the background/environment. I asked my model to swiftly sway the scarf around her and to gaze to the side. Something about the scarf flowing around her was really soothing to me. I wanted it to look effortless. I really wanted to capture her beauty in these photos, and I think I did just that, especially with the close-ups.

Mikki.

We shared plenty of laughs together during these shoots. I was still pretty new to photography, but that didn’t phase you. You loved every photo I took, and you were open to any ideas I had. You were also very patient with me. You probably knew this, but I had no idea how to direct my models. I remember being frustrated and embarrassed throughout this shoot because I honestly didn’t know what type of photos I wanted to take. But you were still there for me and you gave me a chance to experiment with my camera. Around you, I wasn’t afraid to test out what I liked and didn’t like — I was still figuring out my voice and style as a photographer. I still had a lot of growing to do.

Kathy.

An old friend. We wanted to improve our photography skills, so we dedicated a whole day to traveling around Philly; we were each other’s models. We became really close that day. We talked about our lives, our values — we ranted. I remember hyping each other up during this photoshoot. Definitely a memorable day.

Alex Part 1.

My second model. I can still remember the excitement of turning on the camera and hearing the camera shutter. For this shoot, I was more mentally prepared. After scrolling through Instagram for inspiration, I decided to find a place somewhere on campus that had lots of flowers. I figured this would be great practice (and plus, it would be simple to do). We eventually found somewhere on campus that had a nice flower tree. Alex was much taller than me (and the tree), so I had to ask her to bend her knees for me. We probably looked ridiculous, but who the hell cares? We had a blast and I think the photos turned out great.

I did have a hard time editing them just because I was still inexperienced. I’d spent hours and days editing it and re-editing it. I remember I’d bug my roommate for her advice ALL the time because she was great with photography and I looked up to her. Thank you Alex for being a great friend and for encouraging me to continue with photography.

Maria.

My first (official) model ever. This was during my freshman year of college when I finally got my first camera. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I had no idea how to direct my subjects. I didn’t know how to edit my photos — I honestly probably used a preset for these photos (and hoped for the best). Even though I didn’t know what I was doing, I remember having a great time and that’s all that mattered.

McKenzie. Mom. Ba Ngoai (Grandmother).

This was back in Fall 2016.

My first camera had just arrived in the mail. I immediately pulled it out and started snapping photos around the house. My mom was babysitting my cousin, McKenzie, at the time. McKenzie loved looking outside the window. She’d always jump in excitement whenever she saw a mailman, a dog or a neighbor walking around — even a car. It’s amazing how the simplest and smallest things could entertain kids.

Plus I’ve always wanted to take photos of someone by white curtains. Something about it shouts innocence and happiness to me, and I think this moment was exactly that. I also liked the natural lighting coming from the window and curtains, as well as the pink and reds in their clothes. Special thanks to my mom for modeling for me (even though she didn’t want to — oops… Love you mom).

I still remember how shocked I was after looking at these photos — how a device can capture such a pure moment.